Longsuffering

The heart of it

Paul's list here is rapid and practical: warn the unruly, comfort the fainthearted, support the weak, be patient toward all men. Notice that different people need different things. Some need a word, some need comfort, some need to be carried. Married people often give their spouse the response they themselves would want rather than the one their spouse actually needs.

See that none render evil for evil. Most damage in a marriage is not the first offense; it is the return volley. Longsuffering is the decision not to fire back, made before the moment comes.

The chapter ends with a promise, not a demand: the God of peace sanctify you wholly, and He who calls you is faithful, He will do it. Your spouse's sanctification is God's project, and so is yours. He is not in a hurry and He is not failing.

What to notice

• Rejoice, pray, give thanks are all described as God's will for you, in the middle of instructions about difficult people.
• Comfort the fainthearted and warn the unruly are opposite responses, so discernment matters.
• The whole person is what God promises to sanctify: spirit, soul, body.
• He will do it. The last word is God's faithfulness, not our stamina.

Talk together

1. 1Which do you need from me more often right now — a word, comfort, or someone to carry the load?
2. 2Where have I been impatient with something God has not finished in you yet?
3. 3What is the return volley I usually fire when I feel criticized?
4. 4What is one long-standing weakness of mine you have quietly borne for years? Thank each other for it.
5. 5Is there anything you have been trying to change in me that only God can change?

Pray together

Thank God for His patience with you by name, and ask for the same patience toward each other.