Week 10 · Suffering that binds instead of breaks

Through the Hard Seasons

Read together: Romans 5:1-5

Also read: 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 · Romans 8:28

Trouble will come to your home. It can drive a wedge or weld a seam, and that is largely decided beforehand.

The heart of it

Paul does not promise an easy road. He says tribulation works patience, patience experience, experience hope, and hope does not make us ashamed because the love of God is poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit. Hardship is not wasted in God's hands, but it is not automatically useful either. It works this way in people who keep going to God in it.

In 2 Corinthians he adds that God comforts us so that we can comfort others with the comfort we received. Your worst season may become the exact thing that lets you help another couple.

The danger in a hard season is that grief turns inward and two people suffer in the same house, alone. Sickness, job loss, a wayward child, a death: these are the moments when a couple must deliberately turn toward each other instead of into themselves.

What to notice

Paul says we glory in tribulations. Glorying is not pretending it does not hurt.
The chain has an order. Skipping steps is not offered.
The love of God is 'shed abroad in our hearts,' poured out generously, not measured.
Comfort is described as something passed along, not stored.

Talk together

1What has been the hardest season of our marriage so far? What did we learn about each other?
2When you are hurting, do you want to be held, left alone, or talked with? Does your spouse know that?
3Is either of us carrying grief right now that we have not brought to the other?
4How did we handle God in that hard season: drew near, drifted, went through the motions?
5Who could we comfort with what we have been through?

Your own journal

Answer these on your own during the week. They are yours; you are never required to read them out loud.

1. What am I afraid of about the future of our family?

2. Where do I go when I hurt, and is it toward God and my spouse or away from them?

3. What has God brought me through that I have not fully thanked Him for?

4. Is there a disappointment with God I have never said out loud? Say it to Him now, on paper.

5. What would it look like for me to be a comfort to my spouse this week instead of needing comfort?

This week's practice

Ask your spouse this week: 'What is the heaviest thing you are carrying right now?' Then just listen and pray for them.

"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

Romans 5:5

Pray together

Thank God for carrying you through what is behind you. Ask Him to make you one in whatever is ahead.

Next week: A Home That Worships