Week 10 · Self-control in the ordinary appetites
Temperance
Read together: 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Also read: Titus 2:11-12 · Proverbs 25:28
Every appetite you refuse to govern will eventually govern your marriage: food, drink, spending, screens, work, anger, desire.
The heart of it
Paul uses an athlete. Everyone competing is temperate in all things, and he adds that he keeps his own body under, lest after preaching to others he himself be disqualified. The apostle assumed his appetites needed governing. So do ours.
Temperance is not a list of forbidden things. It is being the one who decides. A man who cannot stop scrolling, a woman who cannot stop buying, a couple who cannot stop working, all say the same thing: something else is holding the reins.
Notice the prize language. Self-control is not about becoming grim; it is about wanting something enough to say no to lesser things. In a marriage, the prize is the marriage itself, and a home where God is honored.
What to notice
- Temperate in all things, not merely in the obvious vices.
- Paul runs with a destination in mind, not aimlessly.
- He includes himself among those who could be disqualified.
- Proverbs pictures the person without self-control as a city with its walls broken down: anything can walk in.
Talk together
- 1What appetite in our house is currently running us instead of the other way round?
- 2How much of our evening goes to screens? Guess separately, then check.
- 3Where does spending get decided without the other knowing?
- 4What is one thing we should fast from together for a month?
- 5What is the prize we are actually running for as a couple?
Your own journal
Answer these on your own during the week. They are yours; you are never required to read them out loud.
1. Which appetite do I least want to look at right now? Write about that one.
2. Where has something small become a master?
3. What would my spouse say holds too much of my attention?
4. What one boundary would help me most, and who needs to know about it?
5. Ask God for self-control in the specific place you named.
This week's challenge
Agree on one thing to give up together for the next four weeks, and one hour of the evening that stays screen-free.
"And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things."
1 Corinthians 9:25
Pray together
Name the appetite you each want God's help with, and ask for it plainly, out loud, in front of each other.
Next week: A Home That Bears Fruit